


I Shot T'Pol

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-10
Updated: 2006-03-10
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8086534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: There are some perks to being Armory Officer that just can't be beat. (12/02/2003)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: Spoilers: 3.09 "North Star," general Season 3.  
  
I just couldn't get it out of my head what a kick it would be to be in Malcolm's shoes when he 'disables' T'Pol.   


* * *

One more hour of my shift, and I'm going to head to the mess hall for a nice quiet cup of tea and ruminate on today's adventures properly. God it had been fun shooting T'Pol. I mean, _really_ fun. Aside from getting to play real cowboys (something Tucker hasn't stopped prattling about) and T'Pol finally making a slip from that high pedestal of hers, letting herself get taken hostage.

I got to shoot T'Pol!

She even thanked me for it when we got her back to sickbay! Though Phlox gave me a disapproving look. He believes that I tend to overdo things when it comes to phase pistols and torpedoes. Now, where would he get an idea like that?

Perhaps now I have something to distract myself from that "Hoshi dropping in on my quarters naked" fantasy that refuses to budge. Trip had a good laugh at my expense when I shared that one. Not to discredit Hoshi's talents as an officer, or the fact that she'd saved the day facing one of her worst fears—something I've yet been able to do—in the process inadvertently showing off her fine figure. Distractingly fine...

She's manning her station right now, chatting on the Comm, I can't quite make out the conversation, but she's clearly excited about something. Possibly hearing stories of the mission from some of the crew. I certainly know how she feels. I was sure I would be left behind for this mission. As Trip pointed out, my accent would make me stick out like a sore thumb. It's not that I think it was fortunate that they ran into trouble, more that I've come to expect it since entering the expanse, or deep space for that matter. Which generally leads to more fresh air for me.

I suppose the commander will miss out on his session with T'Pol this evening, Phlox wanted her to stay overnight for observation. Still it's a small price to pay for getting her back on board safely. Trip has been seeing her every night for months now, one night won't kill him. He's clearly lusting after the sub commander, what officer would turn down five minutes of neural pressure with her? However he does seem genuine in his assurances that nothing is going on between them. I never quite picked Trip for the gentleman that he's been with her. He still grieves for his sister, so I've tried not to press him too much on the matter. But the few things he has told me, some of the positions required—it's hard to let him alone, when all I want is more details. I'm not sure I could restrain myself in the same position. I'd probably have to shoot her or something. Now there's an idea! With so much new material for a good fantasy I'm not sure quite how I'll face T'Pol on the bridge tomorrow morning.

I suppose I shouldn't share these thoughts with Trip, either. We usually do chat about our flirtations. It's proved to help ease the tension in the past. But Starfleet personnel are a little lacking when it comes to appreciating a good explosion, or the finer points of a well-designed weapon, or the joyous glee of shooting a co-worker. Hoshi already thinks I have a problem. No, I definitely shouldn't mention this to her.

I got to shoot sub commander T'Pol!

I _shot_ T'Pol!

Well, at least the Captain can read my report, I'm sure he'll appreciate my position on the matter. After all, the number of times the sub commander has openly questioned his judgment on the bridge...I know he claims it doesn't bother him, but really! Perhaps I'll work some creative writing into the report as a little entertainment for the Captain. He has been preoccupied since this mission and in my opinion could use a little light reading. Something like:

"As the sub commander lay helpless in the arms of that dastardly cad, petrified that her life depended on the trigger-happy finger of a man who stank of whiskey. The armory officer dashed to her rescue. Taking the villain by surprise, this handsome hero aimed his trusty phase pistol at his sub-commander's well rounded arse and sank her into oblivion with one shot."

Yes this is definitely going to be a distraction. Perhaps I should head back to my quarters for that cup of tea. I'm quite enjoying this little headspace I'm in. It's always like this after an away mission. Debriefing helps a little, getting the events down for the record. But the ship is still abuzz several days afterward, particularly if it's an exciting one like this, where the danger was really minimal compared to say, being boarded by cloaked Xindi soldiers.

I think the part I liked best was when T'Pol collapsed to the ground, and the cowboy looked up at me in disbelief, no longer pointing his gun at anything of importance. So I gave him a little smile, shrugged and _just_ as I pointed my phase pistol at him, he realised his tactical disadvantage. Let's forget the fact that the man had snuck past three officers, catching us all off guard. It was a smooth recovery if I do say so myself.

"Lieutenant? Are you alright?" Crewman Foster is standing right next to me, the shift must be over already. "You seemed very far away."

"Thanks Foster, sorry. Just thinking about the away mission."

Now might be time for a quick exit before Foster starts wondering about the dedication of his superior officer. Hoshi joins me as we enter the turbolift, "Good Evening Hoshi"

She greets me with that mischievous smile, "I can't believe you didn't tell me! Malcolm, how can you be so calm? Wasn't it exciting?"

"Oh, the mission? Nothing too dangerous, just a few six-guns. Not much of a match against our phase rifles" I reply trying for a nonchalant effect. Looking down at her beside me, I don't think she's buying it.

"Don't tell me you weren't loving every minute of it. I'm sure you've dreamt of a western shoot-out since you were little! Anyway, that's not the part I want to hear about." She looks up again, with that look, like she's going to get as much teasing in as possible before I escape to my quarters. "Perhaps you'd like to explain to me just how T'Pol got herself into sickbay?"

Ouch! What a way to hit a tactical officer, start by listing the casualties. I'll play along only because it's the only way out of this in one piece. After all, I've had my excitement for the day; hers is only just beginning. A little smirk should suffice.

"Oh come on! Tell me!" she's pleading now. I haven't seen her quite this attentive after a mission. Usually she's happy to forget all violent incidents and let things get back to normal.

"Tell you what, Hoshi? What could possibly have gotten you so excited you spent the last hour chatting on the Comm?" She tilts her head down and gives me a dangerous look "No, you don't. You're not turning this one on me." We exit the turbo lift and pause a moment in the corridor, "I wanna know what it was like! How does it feel to be the man who shot sub commander T'Pol?"

I feel a devilish grin come on, as "Hoshi fantasy" reasserts itself. Perhaps mess hall isn't such a bad idea after all.

"Ensign Sato, I don't think T'Pol would appreciate that comment. But if you must know—"

"Oh, I definitely must!"

"—You're a girl after my own heart Hoshi. Well it began with a scream, as I darted around to see the bad guy gripping our sub commander by the throat. 'Don't come any closer' said he, as he pointed his gun at her head. I had to think quickly. T'Pol was in no position to bargain with him..."


End file.
